You know, if I'd gone to work today, I wouldn't have found this. And it needed to be found.

Top Five Songs to Listen to When You Skip Outta Work On a Monday

1.) "Definition" - Mos Def & Talib Kweli

2.) "Get Myself Into It" - The Rapture

3.) "Over the Pond" - Album Leaf & Sigur Ros (I have a theory that this song was in "Donnie Darko", but no one listens to me)

4.) "Just Drums" - Tapes 'n Tapes

5.) "Gold Lion" - Yeah3

Any feedback on Band of Horses would also be appreciated. I'm being peer pressured into listening to them.

Having a bad day at work? Has the strumpet in accounting hacked you off? Does your boss assume you read minds? Are you dying to leave an all-company voice mail expressing your concerns over the decrease in benefit coverage? Is the fax machine behaving like it has a personal vendetta against you? Then you need the Samuel L. Jackson Soundboard! Perfect for almost any occupational situation!

(via Posthuman Blues)

Curious to hear what Sunny Day Real Estate mixed with early Smashing Pumpkins would sound like? Then watch, listen and rock hard...

I am an IKEA nut. I go absolutely crazy for my annual shop-a-thon. Who knew it was so tawdry?

"We saw this particular photo when the prints came through here in Canada. ...But we can definitely say this is a picture of a dog's leg, and it is not something else."

I got my period today. Could you tell it was coming by my last two posts?

(Not that I'm backing down. Those are completely legitimate points. I was just more...vocal.)

So, you know, I get put through some very trying situations at work. It's really a quite stressful place to run. Social service agencies are known for being 24 hour crisis tornados. But this is not the point of this entry. The point of this entry is that, despite the hell I already get put through, I was persecuted today because of my personal beliefs. By four separate people while trapped in a 8 foot by 5 foot cubicle. Let me explain.

I'm easily the coolest person in my department. I have a clique - all the indie underachievers...we're all the same age, we all have credit problems, we all have cardigans, we spend most of the time chatting music rather than doing paperwork. Anyway, so today I brought up what I thought was a viable conversation topic - Weird Al.

There was a lot of silence. Then the slings and arrows of that high school type of "cooler than thou" stuff started. And it was seriously mean-spirited. I was essentially told that I was insane. "Partially schitzophrenic" was the actual term, I believe.

And I just wanted to know if they'd heard his new song, which you shouldn't download at all.

And it kept going on all day.

Here's my opinion on people who "don't get" Weird Al. I think, frankly, Weird Al is pretty much a genius. I mean - how high does your IQ have to be to pair the Beverly Hillbillies theme with a Dire Straights song? And have you ever listened to "Bob"? That's incredible. It's a little more than novelty. And it's fun. But I guess we shouldn't ruin our cynical cool kid attitude with something frivolous. If it's not hopelessly obscure, or bitter and addiction soaked, it's too far to stoop.

Screw that.

Song of the day: "Angry White Boy Polka" - Weird Al.

I had a sugary breakfast today, and with my blood glucose level soaring, I fired off this rant in an email. I feel it should be shared with my adoring public.

"Bukowski once explained how his childhood impacted his
writing: "When you get the shit kicked out of you
long enough and long enough, you learn to say exactly
what you mean. You get all the pretension kicked out
of you." Isaac Brock once said regarding Hank "Who'd
want to be such an asshole?". I say there's nothing
more all-American than getting a hard on for an
emotionally impotent, inflated myth creating, shitty
ONS (probably shot booze), live-pedestrian-die-slowly,
woman beater. People love to chalk it all up the Beat
Generation brilliance. Anti-establishment, my foot.
God. I don't see anyone drooling to make a fifteenth
film about James Baldwin. There's a serious lack of
standards in contemporary understanding of literature.
Shock fucking sells. Bukowski's no different than
any other drivel that comes out of American
television. And the man playing him in the film does
voice-overs for Pontiac! Jesus fucking Christ. Makes
me want to open my window and start screaming a la
"Network"."

My dear little sisters, Ginny and Kitty, leave tomorrow for their freshman year of college at Drake University. They grow up so quickly...and I'm so proud of them!

Remember when music didn't suck?

Example #1

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Example # 9

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Example #20

Although I hated highschool, the soundtrack was awesome.

Friend of a friend (and amazing photographer of Kansas City) Chris Riebschlager has written a strangely relatable biography (minus the hardworking Nebraskan angle).

Song of the day (and you know you've missed this band lately): "A Life of Responsibilities" - Dismemberment Plan

Stephen Colbert's "Better Know a District" visits California's sixth district - Sonoma/Marin counties...the counties I begrudgingly call home.

Yeah, what he said.

(courtesy of Michael "Men's Group" Harper)

I suddenly remembered tonight that I am in love with Claudio Sanchez. He does indeed bring the rock. And if you don't love this song with every fiber of your being, I feel sorry for you.

Yes, even you, Ed.

You know, there's nothing worse than being attacked at work by a Christian. Oh, they think they're being subtle and PC and not breaking company policy...but they're blatantly transparent. It's always leading questions, casual comments in the break room, and WWJD ribbons posted on an office wall directly across from your desk that you have to stare at for eight hours a day, five days a week. And I'm really sick of their perpetual perkiness - mainlining Jesus makes you into a sugar-coated sheep.

I tried to revolt a little by posting an I.W.W. wall calendar this year in hopes, quite honestly, of starting some sh*t, but by about February I realized no one here has enough education to understand what it is.

Were you aware?

This is a picture of me at 16 (the cusp of my adult life). My friend on the right is Colleen. She and I were tight for about a year.

Less than two or three months after this picture was taken (photo booth at Lucille's on Westport), I met the man I would end up dating for seven years, and eventually married and divorced. This picture to me captures the last moments of freedom I had before I was drawn into an adult relationship that most certainly smashed my romantic and emotional ideals. Now that all is said and done, I'm a tired, jaded woman.

It's not a bitter thing, just interesting.

Song of the day: "Nowhere Fast" - The Smiths.

Music Obsessions You Wish You'd Never Had (Part One in a Series)

1994 - Downset

Yes, I suppose they might have been more "street" than Rage, but that just goes to show talent isn't inborn ladies and gentlemen. I can take comfort in the fact I was only 17, though, and highly impressionable.

4th of July Tag Party (via Busy3)

Instructions:
1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. In the search box, type your birth month and day (but not year).
3. List three important events that happened on your birthday.
4. List two interesting birthdays and one interesting death.
5. List one holiday or observance (if none, make one up).

Events:
1925 - Scopes Trial: John T. Scopes is indicted for teaching Darwin's theory of evolution.

1977 - Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope opens in theaters and eventually becomes the highest grossing film of all time.

2006 - Kenneth Lay and Jeff Skilling are convicted for their roles in the collapse of Enron.

Births:
1803 - Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist and philosopher

1948 - Klaus Meine, German musician (Scorpions) (how awesome is that?)

Death:
2006 - Desmond Dekker, Jamaican ska musician

Observance:
United States - Memorial Day/Decoration Day, a legal holiday (1868)

"Now, 75 years later in an abundant society where people have laptops, cell phones, iPods, and minds like empty rooms, I still plod along with books." - Harper Lee

The terrorists have won.

So this is a joke, right?

This is my friend/co-worker Chad. Chad is in a band Chadwick. While not my cup of tea, Chad has a large, loyal following that is to be admired.

I am proud of Chad because this past weekend he went to visit his teenage son, Wolfgang, in Kansas City. This took a lot of courage, because he and his son are virtual strangers to each other. There's also a lot of other baggage involved with it, and I'll spare you the details.

This is a photo of Chad at Union cemetery in Kansas City, where as a youngin' my girlfriends and I would walk and attempt to appear wistful and wise. Ha.

Song of the day: "cemetery Gates" - The Smiths.

I love "Lost". I love Sigur Ros. I do not love them together.

You know, I hate to judge, but some people shouldn't be allowed to write. Anything. Not even a grocery list.

Being in a cult - it's just like I thought it would be, but with better eye wear!

"If you want to see the true face of war, go to the amateur porn Web site NowThatsFuckedUp.com. For almost a year, American soldiers stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan have been taking photographs of dead bodies, many of them horribly mutilated or blown to pieces, and sending them to Web site administrator Chris Wilson. In return for permission to post these images, Wilson gives the soldiers free access to his site. American soldiers have been using the pictures of disfigured Iraqi corpses as currency to buy pornography."

I can't begin to comment on this.

May Day in Santa Rosa - quite moving.

This is quite possibly the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. I'm not kidding.

This is a small part the Santa Rosa, CA "Day Without Immigrants" march. A good majority of the wineries have shut down or modified business today in order to support their workers. Fast food restaurants are closed. The number of people marching is so big, you can't drive through town in an even remotely timely fashion.

And we're just a little suburb.

It makes for one happy May Day!

Today's post brought to you by the kind folks over at Planned Parenthood...

"An Indiana mother recently accompanied her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend to one of Indiana's Planned Parenthood clinics, but they unwittingly walked into a so-called "crisis pregnancy center" run by an anti-abortion group, one that shared a parking lot with the real Planned Parenthood clinic and was designed expressly to lure Planned Parenthood patients and deceive them.

The group took down the girl's confidential personal information and told her to come back for her appointment, which they said would be in their "other office" (the real Planned Parenthood office nearby). When she arrived for her appointment, not only did the Planned Parenthood staff have no record of her, but the police were there. The "crisis pregnancy center" had called them, claiming that a minor was being forced to have an abortion against her will.

The "crisis pregnancy center" staff then proceeded to wage a campaign of intimidation and harassment over the following days, showing up at the girl's home and calling her father's workplace. Our clinic director reports that the girl was "scared to death to leave her house." They even went to her school and urged classmates to pressure her not to have an abortion.

The anti-choice movement is setting up these "crisis pregnancy centers" across the country. Some of them have neutral-sounding names and run ads that falsely promise the full range of reproductive health services, but they dispense anti-choice propaganda and intimidation instead. And according to a recent article in The New York Times, there are currently more of these centers in the U.S. than there are actual abortion providers. What's more, these centers have received $60 million in government grants. They're being funded by our tax dollars.

A bill has just been introduced in Congress to stop the fraudulent practices of fake clinics, but it desperately needs more support. Tell your representative to take a stand: anti-choice extremists must not get away with this any longer!"

"Neil Young urges Bush impeachment on protest album"

Gotta love Neil...

Jason and I are going on a road trip to (semi-hip) Portland, Oregon next week. The last time we went on a road trip, we almost killed each other in the parking garage of a casino in Vegas. So, we'll bravely try to enjoy the all-American past-time of using gas station bathrooms, suffering sciatic pain from sitting in a car six hours a time, realizing the 50 or so albums brought have lasted about three hours and arguing with hotel staff about the number of pillows needed. Not that this will make us say, cranky or anything. I’m not even going to bring up the food issues.

And think – we don’t even have kids yet.

Song of the day: "The Beach" - New Order

I have two disagreements with this bill board.

#1: It's stupid. Who calls their wedding ring "bling"? Wait, don't answer that.

#2: I really resent the implication that sex is something women use to "lure" men into marriage. I mean, what century are we in? And what is the Iowa Abstinence Mission really concerned about? The emotional impact of casual sex? The number of children born out of wedlock? The rising numbers of sexually transmitted diseases among youth? The prevailing teenage value that oral sex is not sex?

Oh, I think not.

They're afraid that women are sexual creatures. That women might want to engage in sexual activity for a wide variety of reasons that don't include life-long commitments. That women can do this freely because they can control their fertility. And a woman who can control the path of her life can think for herself and make her own choices, without a husband or a church to do it for her. Without the backs of women to walk over, these folks will fall.

The sooner the better.

Nice, eh?

Well, duh.

You are a Social Liberal (76% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (6% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

URGENT!

I have established that this is slightly funnier than this.

But only slightly.

"The Smiths turned down $5 million reunion offer"

Yeah, but would it have really been the same?

Song of the day: "How Soon Is Now" - The Smiths

Top Five Indications That You've Left Your Early Twenties College-era, But Aren't Quite An Adult

1.) SXSW is this week, and you could scrape the money together, but haven't been at your job long enough to accrue cred to take off a week.

2.) You have a Section 125 at work, but only use it to pay your health insurance premiums. Come on - as if 26% wasn't enough of a chunk.

3.) You still do your laundry at your parents house (and you get free dinner).

4.) You make fun of the indie teens at the mall, but realize you're carrying the same messenger bag.

5.) You'd become management if only for the exempt status, but "Assistant to the Fuckwit" seems like it might suck you into the career black hole.

Song of the day: "Spider in the Snow" - Dismemberment Plan

News flash!

"Gay Prevention Programs Harm Teens"

What a surprise. Try this, kiddies.

Song of the day: "Virginia Woolf" - Indigo Girls.

"24 - The Musical" almost tops my idea of "Cellar Door - A Study in Modern Dance". It's an idea I can definitely get behind.

"But the truth is that the powerful do not easily give up their power, and the door is now closing again. Equal pay for equal work - a no-brainer, you think? Never happened. A female president? Only on television. Abortion may soon become illegal once again. Birth control is under attack. Even Title IX is under attack. As it turns out, the door may have only opened a little way for a little while, and I was one of the lucky ones who slipped through."

For 28 years, I have managed to avoid watching the Super Bowl. That ends today. What's worse, it was sprung on me this morning, so I haven't even had anytime to mentally prepare. Nothing but all American good times coming up, kids.

Pray for me.

Feminist Author Betty Friedan Dies at 85

If these songs were taken away from me right now, I would probably roll over and expire:

1. "Over the Pond" - Album Leaf & Sigur Ros
2. "Comfort Eagle" - Cake
3. "E.M.P.T.Y." - The Clientele
4. "I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor" - Arctic Monkeys
5. "Such Great Heights" - Postal Service (Valentine's Day is coming up, after all)

So as long as everyone leaves my iTunes intact, no one dies...

"Peter Gabriel's "Big Time" has become the official theme of World Wrestling Entertainment's upcoming "WrestleMania 22," nearly 20 years after the song hit the top 10 in the United States."

You know, I love that song. I was planning to get a shirt with "my heaven will be a big heaven, and I will walk through the front door" so I could see how many people would get it, and how many people would think it was a Jesus-Crispy shirt.

Now I can't do that because I will get associated with wrestling. I never get to have any fun. However, the good news is I don't think people who watch wrestling will necessarily "get" the message of the song. The probably think it's "awesome", like "Born in the U.S.A.".

Still, better not to risk it.

This person and I chose the same template. Now that's funny...

Things that are not fair: Death Cab and John Vanderslice touring in Europe together.

"Sometimes that dream is a sad delusion, but sometimes it's true..." - Exodus Revolution, John Vanderslice.

See that little square cartoon of me to your right? That's an incorrect representation, because I no longer smoke.

Those of you who have known me in my midwestern life, please clean up whatever you spit out of your nose while reading the previous sentence.

After today, and well...after this week...or month...can someone give me one good damn reason to not smoke? And don't pull the "so you grow old and see your grandkids" bit, because I'm not looking forward to weekend benders at Chucky Cheese with Botox leaking out of my forehead.

And you shouldn't either.

Rant about work: #3 or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

The company I work for, which shall remain nameless, has produced another money-grubbing (i.e. - fund development) groveling piece to recruit uneasy liberals to fork over some of their winery earnings. These earnings go to such staples for the developmentally disabled such as: galleries to showcase their "artwork", independent living skills facilitators who can't teach worth crap because many of them have questionable pasts that include The Dead and lotsa drugs, and of course, monetary loans to go on company sponsored vacations to HAWAII. Oh yeah, that's teaching responsibility indeed.

Never mind that most of the clients are filthy, in questionable health, obese, unemployed and illiterate. But I suppose that's their choice.

Lo, I digress.

Anyway, so there's the new fund development film. Somehow, someone got Demi Moore to narrate this fine piece of kiss-ass. Really. Couldn't they find another has been actress that at least has some cred in this department? Where's Juliette Lewis? At least she's played a retard before.

Not all is terrible. I work with some cool gentlemen - Ed and Michael. They make me mix cds and proclaim my efficiency and hep cat status to anyone and everyone. Little bright spots, I tell ya.

Song o' the day: "This Place is a Prison" - Postal Service

Rant about work: #2

I have been at my current job for six months. I get evaluated twice in my first year; once at the three month mark, then again at the six month mark. I am evaluated by my entire staff as well as any other random department, organization, etc., I may deal with. I have kept this in mind since my first day. At my three month evaluation, there was not a single negative remark or area of improvement. It was nothing but glowing praise from everyone. Let me assure you, I busted my ass to get that evaluation too.

For this next evaluation, I was told by my supervisor that she "didn't want to sort through all the good comments" and this time my evaluation would consist of a half sheet of paper with one question..."What can Maggie improve upon?".

I'm sure, because my supervisor is the director of the department, and has been with the company for almost thirty years, and has worked her way up from the lowest position to the highest, she must understand it is good management to reward and encourage your employees, especially if they deserve it.

This must be an oversight.

Rant about work: #1

You know, I don't think it's funny to randomly shout numbers when someone is auditing the petty cash drawer and counting nickels. In fact, I think it's quite rude.

The person shouting has a "WWJD" award-type ribbon hanging up in her office. Can you get an award ribbon for asking a rhetorical question?

Best quote of all time from this person: (this was during a discussion of the looting occurring in New Orleans after the hurricane) "I know I'm a Christian woman, but I would shoot anyone who was stealing stuff out of those stores. It's just wrong, and they know it." I wanted to bring up that pesky "thou shall not kill" bit, but was too shocked to open my mouth.

Song of the day: "God's Love" - Bad Religion.

Tonight begins a new season of 24. Although it will be predictable and stale, I am giddy none the less.

"An Australian woman will face court charged with repeatedly stabbing her partner because he played an Elvis Presley song over and over again, police said Tuesday."

I find this to be completely justifiable. When I expressed this to Jason, he brought up my constant compulsion with "MacArthur Park" (including various recordings of it)and how he had never contemplated violence. The implication that Richard Harris and Elvis are musically in the same ring of hell is preposterous. Richard Harris had one hit, and now that he has passed on into Grade B Actors Heaven, no one spots him at 7 Eleven.

Elvis will never die. That poor woman knew that, and tried bravely to rid her house of smarmy oily music that brings nausea to any self-respecting rock-n-roll fan. I, for one, support her!

My resolution this year, besides being the best ME I can possibly be, is to blagh more. Nine days into the year and this is as far as I've gotten.

Maybe inspiration will strike unexpectedly.

Best album of the year so far that I got for Christmas: Beastie Boys Greatest Hits (excluding all offensive material)

Best song off the best album of the year so far that I got for Christmas: "Brass Monkey". Kick it old school, yo.

Save Our Bluths!

Song of the day: "Afternoon Delight" - Starland Vocal Band

I witnessed a miraculous act of God this weekend. More to come.

So previous to my attending "Purple Rain" live, I had never seen the movie. I got in trouble in first grade for having the record, though, because it had references to s-e-x. Let me tell you, that is one awful, terrible movie. I mean, it's up there with "Pod People", "Manos, the Hands of Fate" and "When a Man Loves a Woman". I'm estimating there were about fifteen plot lines, many of which were never resolved, and if you thought Prince was a bad actor, you should see Morris Day (and the Motherfucking Time). So many questions...like why was Prince still living at home? And was his father Ike Turner?

However, the cast who played the characters live were great. "Prince" could actually dance and writhe all over the stage and look angsty, and "Apallonia" actually did the nude scenes (a la pasties). The music, of course, was totally taking everyone back. People were dancing like it was 1999, y'all. It's been a long time since I had that much fun.

I have just been notified that Vanilla Ice did a "Purple Rain" type movie called "Cool as Ice". Now I have to see it. That's the kind of trainwreck I so love!

Song of the day: "A Love Bizzare" - Prince and Sheila E

Lately, I've seen some great live stuff. Slint, The Standard, Spoon, Nada Surf, John Vanderslice, Sigur Ros, Death Cab for Cutie, and that homeless guy with the banjo on Haight Street. But I don't think anything will top seeing Purple Rain done Rocky Horror style. At the gay country weekend getaway club. Oh hell yes. They have go-go boys!

Song of the day: "Hung Up" - Madonna (it's a damn sample, stop your bitching)

True Majority clarifies a few issues...

Today I was trying to close the books for the department, and that always stresses me out. Reconciling money is always a shaky thing. On top of that, I was coming down off of my Vicodin/Diet Dr. Pepper morning cocktail, and using valuable brain cells scheming ways to get out of work before 5. So of course some damn co-worker comes up to my desk, bubbling with panic and pleading with me to save her or some such nonsense. Seeing that she had just come from the computer room, I halfheartedly feigned concern and asked what was wrong. Evidently, FireFox wasn't "on" the computer she was using. Not really understanding what the issue was, because Safari is installed on all the computers, I asked why she needed FireFox as a specific web browser. Would you like to know what the reason was? Because, of course, she needed to check her Gmail.

Duh.

I explained that Safari would work just as well (maybe better).

I went back to my desk, turned up my iTunes and painstakingly crunched numbers in a concerted effort to not cook the books, all the while wondering why she hadn't even bothered to thank me. What's that expression, again? Taken for granted? What's even more aggravating is the solution I provided should be obvious to anyone and everyone.

And this person makes a dollar more an hour than I do.

Yesterday my boss, who is a very business-like-seriously-intelligent-no-time-for-messing-around type, who I've worked with for nearly four months and have no idea her husband's name (I'm not complaining - I actually prefer it), who understands that she and I don't have to make small talk ever - we just discuss work and get it done, asked me if I'd seen "The Big Lebowski". I had to profess no. I spent the rest of the afternoon wondering why she'd seen it. I don't really know what's it's about, but the people I know who are way into it are nothing like her. It was kind of odd.

She also brought me taffy from Oregon.

I suppose I should get her a Boss's Day card. She's a pretty good boss after all.

How did the survey know I was a woman? Hm...

Attention ladies, underage girls, and federal investigators posing as underage boys:

Lest you get desperate about your dating rut, this is what's out there on the internet.

Song of the day: "Fool's Paradise" - Buddy Holly

Taken from Truth Explosion, because I feel the exact same way...

Dear Mr. Gibbard,

Seriously Ben, have you been following me around these past few years or so? I’ve been listening to your albums for only a short while now, but this question has been plaguing me the whole time. Here’s the thing though… up until a few minutes ago I didn’t know exactly what the question was. I would listen and listen to song after song and would perpetually be focused on the place I couldn’t quite put my finger on, thinking and thinking, thinking and thinking, thinking and thinking…

I think it was in the middle of Different Names For The Same Thing… I was lost in the warmth of a past memory and with the sudden clarity of a match being struck in the dark, it hit me. The proverbial “aha!” moment as it were, where I saw the forest for the trees.

Something in your music never fails to snatch me back to other times… happy times, sad times, times of depth… all these moments that I’ll never let go of … I know it’s sounds silly, but I listen to your albums and I get this feeling like you’ve been following me around through the years and have been writing songs loosely based on my life… where you changed just enough details to avoid being accused of cribbing ideas.

Like how I first heard Transatlanticism at the time when the two and a half hours of driving distance between me and my love was filling my head with a simple sentiment… I need you so much closer… It wasn’t hard chalking it up to mere coincidence then.

But now? When the love of my life has become an immutable source of continuity in my existence, someone I see with me for the rest of my days and I find my thoughts touching on the fact that one day we will have no choice but to say goodbye… how can I help but to find a sort of synchronicity between this and my receipt of your new Plans disc? I felt almost haunted listening to songs like Soul Meets Body, I Will Follow You Into The Dark and What Sarah Said. It seemed as though you knew exactly where I was going to be at, what I was going to be feeling going through this time, and you wrote these songs, that way on purpose so I’d have a perfect mirror to listen to when the time came.

Of course the whole he-has-been-stalking-me-for-lyrical-substance perspective could be rooted in abject narcissism. Well… ok, I’m sure it looks that way to the outside observer but we know the truth, don’t we Ben? Just don't forget to start sending the royalty checks to me, first name Cain, last name Arsenault, ok?

Cain Arsenault

Song of the day: "Soul Meets Body" - Death Cab

Quite possibly the most unnecessary article ever written...

"Firms with Bush ties snag Katrina deals"

Oh, what a surprise...

"Sitting with her daughter and other relatives, Trolkyn Joseph, 37, said men had wandered the cavernous convention center in recent nights raping and murdering children. She said she found a dead 14-year old girl at 5 a.m. on Friday morning, four hours after the young girl went missing from her parents inside the convention center. 'She was raped for four hours until she was dead,' Joseph said through tears. 'Another child, a seven-year old boy was found raped and murdered in the kitchen freezer last night.'"

And to make everyone feel a little better, how about a blast from our web past?

'An old man in a chaise lounge lay dead in a grassy median as hungry babies wailed around him. Around the corner, an elderly woman lay dead in her wheelchair, covered up by a blanket, and another body lay beside her wrapped in a sheet.

"I don't treat my dog like that," 47-year-old Daniel Edwards said as he pointed at the woman in the wheelchair.

"You can do everything for other countries, but you can't do nothing for your own people," he added. "You can go overseas with the military, but you can't get them down here."'

"God Punishing GIs Over Gays"

I don't even know what to say about this...probably just the typical "Fred Phelps will burn in hell for eternity" type of stuff so many of us Kansas City types have gotten so used to saying.

"For other fans, like Dorian Baxter, founder of Christ the King, Graceland Independent Anglican Church in Ontario, Canada, this is more of a pilgrimage.

"Elvis has been a great instrument to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ," said Baxter, a reverend who often performs in Elvis garb as "Elvis Priestly."

"And coming to Memphis in August," continued Baxter, dressed in a white linen suit and black silk shirt, "is just my way of paying respect to the man whose music has helped me bring people to the Lord."

If only you could see the look of contempt on my face right now...

Jason Sheets and I had the most long, drawn out ending to our marriage. It went on for years, despite new relationships, forced joint employment to keep us both out of poverty and vague excuses to family members. I finally cut the cord in February, even thought the initial separation had happened years earlier. The trip from Kansas to California was one of the most painful things I had ever done, because I knew at that point that part of my life was pretty much over. I listened to a lot of Death Cab on that trip, especially "Title and Registration". And what do you know? Death Cab has made a video for that song that is remarkably similar to what I experienced on that trip (excluding the near death experience on a mountain in New Mexico). Anyway, check it out...

Ok, so I'm the biggest slacker in the world with this blog. I used to post everyday back when I was youthful and full of ideals and such. Anyway, here are some updates:

*I saw Tom Waits at Safeway. Shopping. While his wife waited in their "I have a small dick so I overcompensate with my auto" SUV.

*I, along with Lisa Ann(e) Carbone, plan to take over the world. Quite soon. We've been having all kinds of meetings at work about it, and no one seems the least bit suspicious. Shout out to the BI folks and all that jazz.

*Bolton's in the U.N., y'all. Ha.

*I scored a previously undiscovered version of "Macarthur Park" at Amoeba last weekend. I found it in the discount 7" bin. It's recorded by a band called The Surprise Package, and it's all organ-y and such. Oh, you thought the Richard Harris version was bad. You ain't heard nothing yet... Now if only Gary Puckett has covered "Ruby Don't Take Your Love To Town"! That would be quite exciting.

*"Lost" is one hell of a show. I would recommend it.

*There's an autographed poster of Ween on the right of our computer desk. On the back wall facing me, there's an "Eraserhead" poster. On the left is a Nirvana poster. I think it's all a great plot by Jason to make me feel so uncomfortable back here I won't stay up all night playing online bingo.

Song of the day: "I Believe" - Stevie Wonder

Have fun, stay single.

Listen here, oh despairing single friends: Being in a serious relationship is overrated. Ninety percent of the time it's not even enjoyable. It's nothing but uneven compromise and injured emotions. It's a lot of hard work for very little, if any, reward...and it's not like you can transfer those reward points to your next account, if you catch my drift. Just listen to any Death Cab album.

"I became what I always hated/
when I was with you then..."

"There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade/
and now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all/
and here I rest where disappointment and regret collide/
lying awake at night..."

"All I see are dark grey clouds/
in the distance moving closer with every hour/
so when you ask "was something wrong?"/
I think "you're damn right there is/
but we can't talk about it now."

And if anyone would know, it would be Ben Gibbard...let's all join in for a rousing chorus of "The Sound of Settling".

Pack the sunblock...we should head up to Indie Rock Summer Camp y'all..

(courtesy of this Charming Man)

Song of the day: "Cruel Summer" - Bananarama

In heavy rotation...

* Spoon - Gimmie
* Beck - Guero
* David Bowie - anything
* Coheed and Cambria - anything
* Death Cab - Transatlanticism (quite possibly a perfect album)
* Buddy Holly - anything

Not in heavy rotation...

* The newish Mooney Suzuki
* The newish Tori Amos (sorry to say)
* The new Coldplay (it's been done, dude)
* The new John Vanderslice single (it may be a bad upcoming year for music, kids)

Blogs are so 2003.

"Reality Show Will Find New INXS Singer"

Kinda rude, isn't it?

And if the previous link baffled you, then Rosie O'Donnell's Blog should just plain piss you off. How did she get so far in life being so extremely challenged? From the looks of this blog, I doubt she could sign any contracts without a "special helper".

There are a lot of things in this world that make me really uncomfortable. Having someone carry on a conversation with you as they address you by a name not your own. Realizing you've been walking around for god knows how long with toilet paper stuck to your shoe. Standing behind someone in line at a restaurant trying to order from a menu not in their native language. Watching men cry. Especially big strong testosteroney men cry. And reading an interview where the "journalist" tries to convert Joey Ramone to Christianity. I think I've seen it all now.

Nothing rules more than a backwards countdown to a chorus that includes the line "...and kick my shit so hiiiiiiiiigh...". It's the kind of thing that is best sung while driving around town and night with a cig in one hand and the other playing air guitar (the picking kind). Who can offer this to you? Why Sunset Valley, of course!

Song of the day: "G.B.78.S." - Sunset Valley.

Abstinence Only is simply the most direct and practical faith-fucking site I've seen in years. I should really forward it to my little sisters in that all important "sisterly advice" kinda way.

Song of the day: "Orignial Sinsuality" - Tori Amos

I found this article while meandering around tonight. It's H.S. Thompson's September 12, 2001, article for ESPN.com. It's an interesting sliver of perspective.

This is why I'm never getting pregnant...things like this happen to me...

"The pontiff frequently condemned homosexual activity, and the Vatican launched a global campaign against same-sex marriage. In addition, the pope's condemnation of contraceptives was an affront to HIV-prevention advocates worldwide."

Yet George Bush called him "a champion of human freedom". I suppose he would think that, considering his attitudes and all.

"Their records only sold modestly, but 1980s British rock band The Smiths inspired unwavering loyalty from their fans -- and now, 18 years after they split, an entire academic conference devoted to their music and lyrics."


This would probably be a good thing for me to go to, considering I unfailingly misunderstand all Smiths lyrics...constructing entire interpretations of songs based on the misheard phrase "slender knees". It's quite embarrassing, actually.

ATTENTION, PEOPLE WHO CANNOT STOP THEMSELVES FROM WATCHING 24 NO MATTER HOW LUDICROUSLY IMPROBABLE THE PLOT GETS (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE)



This link's for you...

Ha.

Song of the day: "Killed by the Cowboy President" - Rum Diary.

Normally very hip and way ahead of everyone else, I've decided to immerse myself in the life and times of Elliott Smith. I find him very intriguing, even though if we had met in his short time here, I probably would have told him to buck up and be a man. Still...one of those men I would have been mistaken to think I could save.

Song of the day: "Pretty Ugly" - Elliott Smith

You know, I'm usually a "like whatever music you want to" kinda person...Publicly admitting to a Barry Manilow and Destiny's Child fetish, and it's cool. But here's the deal: I feel like a loser listening to System of a Down. Fundamentally, they're not a bad band, but when I'm bebopping to them while, say, writing cover letters, it's kinda corny. Even more corny because the only other people I know who listen to them are those skinny goth pre-teens that skulk around neighborhoods at night with their headphones on. You know the ones I'm talking about...heavy on the eyeliner, shops at Hot Topic, has a name like "Brittany" or "Amber" or "Chamerlain", which is most decidedly NOT GOTH.

Song of the day: "Midnight Radio" - Hedwig...oh yeah, you should see that movie again tonight. It's so coolio.

"They say every form of refuge has it's price..."

After a week and half in my new life, the "vacation-y" type of excitement has worn off. Practicality, stability and survival have set in...and they're an awfully heavy burden. Although I am in a community not unlike where I grew up, my surroundings seem foreign, as if I'm unable to find north.

Song of the day: "Spider in the Snow" - Dismemberment Plan

We're finally off the road, safe and sound in Santa Rosa. It's beautiful, quiet and clean, which is always good. I have links and such for further photo essays on the sins of Las Vegas, but am too strung out to do a big cutting and pasting job (that's what eight days on the road will get you). I promise I will get it all posted one of these days (after I start looking for a job). In the meantime, everyone take care!

Song of the day: "Home Sweet Home" - Poison

Check it out:

Pics from vacation

"But the truth is I have no faith in happiness
It turns to fear, draws the devils near
So I jumped the fence
And went out west..."

- John Vanderslice, "White Plains" -

Talk to you all next from California...

Recent Observations: The Last Midwest Edition

* Contrary to what you may hear, "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle" and "Pauly Shore Is Dead" are really quite funny.

* Whatever happened to Grandaddy?

* Against my better judgment, I watched the coverage of the inauguration. My favorite channel coverage was FOX, where the reporter stationed with the protesters misquoted them chanting "Hey George how are you feeling today" when the were actually saying "Hey George how many kids have you killed today". Shep Shepard, responding to the reporter said, "I don't think so". It was humorous.

* At the maturely styled McDonald's on Iowa there is no feminine hygiene vending machine in the women's bathroom. There is, however, a large bin of wetnaps in the lobby.

* Let's discuss Elliott Smith for a moment. I recently read an article in "Magnet" about his final year or so. Mental illness, fueled by vague memories of childhood sexual abuse, compounded by a heavy rotation of drugs (prescription and otherwise) all lead to disaster. It's really quite sad and tragic. All of this does give a better understanding of the music on his last album. "A Fond farewell to a Friend" indeed.

* I am unnaturally obsessed with Coheed and Cambria. It's emocore done right. I think the main reason I like them is because it's so much fun to sing along. Grab a brush or a cell phone, use it as a mic, and knock yourself out. A good time will be had by all.

* "The future is unwritten." - Joe Strummer

* Tori has a new album and autobiography coming out this month. Now that's exciting.

* You know, I like to support independent establishments. While eating at an upscale locally owned restaurant the other day, a strange thought crossed my mind. I know that it's owned by a middle-aged couple, and they probably spend a good deal of time there. What is they get a bit randy and have marital relations in the facility? This thought expanded to imagining that it happens on the table I was eating off of. Oh man. I couldn't finish my ravioli pomidore.

* Richard Marx has a new album out. I'll race you to Best Buy. Ready...set...no, it's ok...if you want it that badly I'll just wait here...

* Please kindly check out Free Nachos, a blog by an acquaintance of mine, Scott C. Jones. Scott and I both lived, learned and loved in Lee's Summit and Maryville. Truthfully, I hardly know him...he's the "friend of a friend" kind of thing. But seeing as we both come from common backgrounds, we could probably work well in a nuclear holocaust or similar crisis situation because of shared perspective. Or something. Just check it out.

* Songs I can't live without today:

- "Down" 311

- "Touch You Touch You" Hot Hot Heat

- "Take This Job and Shove It" David Allen Coe

- "Macho Man" The Village People

- "The Joy of Your World" MC Paul Barman

- "Lookinglasself" Snapcase

For important news, go here.

I am not particularly serious about this blog. I used to be, in the glory days of '03, but I was a much different person at that time. I had all this fierce individualism and such...and now I'm just a demographic - "Adult Alternative". I kid you not. I've spent many a night in that stage between turning off the bedside lamp and full-force REM patterns composing a post about this. But yet...this is all I can manage to eek out.

Anyway, when I get around to explaining myself, you'll be the first to know.

Song of the day: "Mediocrity Rules" - Le Tigre (J.D. is real hot like)

"So this is a great job. And yet I'm quitting it, at least for now. I want to stop before I join the horde of people who think I used to be funnier. And I want to work on some other stuff."