"Eminem confesses to several murders in his lyrics (see Bonnie and Clyde '97) and after more than five years of an intensive homicide investigation, police still have no evidence that Eminem did not participate in the murder of rapper Tupac Shakur."


Yeah, well, I saw that damn Matrix movie. I have never professed to enjoy sci-fi, fetish clothing or Keanu Reeves, but I went to see this anyway to be a good sport. It really sucked. I was so bored, I almost fell asleep. And no, the car chase scene was nothing compared to the one in "What's Up Doc?". If it had a chinese dragon...that might have saved it for me...

And of, course, there was no Fredrick Larabee.

I do so enjoy Kurt Vonnegut, who does bear a striking likeness to Mark Twian.

Mac gives us all sound financial advice concerning West African quasi-human rights viloation scams! The last watchdog of our times...if that isn't on Mac's resume, it should be!

Shows you KC kids should be aware of:

Rev. Horton Heat, Thursday May 15, Grand Emporium

Nada Surf, Friday May 23, Bottleneck

Mike Watt, Saturday May 24, Bottleneck

The Cramps, Thursday May 29, Madrid

The Dismemberment Plan, Monday June 16, Granada

!!!, Wednesday June 18, Bottleneck

Alkaline Trio, Friday, June 20, Bottleneck

Neil Young and Crazy Horse, Saturday August 9, Starlight Theater

and oddly enough...

Crosby Stills and Nash, Saturday August 9, Missouri State Fair (snicker snicker)

Reggie and The Full Effect (just pretend they're a real band, please), Thursday, September 9, Liberty Hall

There's a rumor that Weird Al is coming, but that has yet to be verified. And Tabla Rasa is still playing anywhere anyone will listen, so keep your eyes peeled and support those nice young men.

Fellow Kansas Citian Paul Rudd is everywhere these days. I saw him first in "Wet Hot American Summer", and adored him...then remembered he was in "200 Cigarettes" and rented that last weekend specifically for his performance. Then...weird things started happening...he was everywhere! Within the last two days, I have seen him three seperate times....once on the "Isaac Mizrahi Show", again on some random episode of "Friends" (no, I'm not linking that one), and then again on...oh yeah, "Cider House Rules". It's beginning to freak me out. Next he'll probably come home for his high school reunion and I'll see him at P.F. Chang's or something.

Normally my hat's off to The Guardian, but this article has me a little stumped. It's starts off gamely enough with the preoccupation with celebrity backsides...then evolves into a rant ranging from anal sex to the black versus white female body appeal. I just don't know what to think about it.

Being that I am a PBS nerd, I was quite excited to learn that a follow up to last season's reality show, Frontier House, was being followed this season by Manor House. The experiment this season involved an Edwardian castle in Scotland - with the whole "upstairs downstairs" aspect. The ease with which the family slid into the "lifestyle" and the complete revolt from the servants is amazing to watch unfold. In the episode featured tonight, the male head of house, Sir Somethingorother, throws a charity bazaar, and benevolently allows the servants to invite family members (all of whom have not seen any friends or family for over six weeks). After weeks of 18 hour days 7 days a week, this is a much deserved break. The best part? The Socialist Party shows up from London to pass out literature and drum up support for fair labor practices and workers rights. The look on the face of Sir Somthingorother was completely classic, and I must say the mood was somewhat melancholy for a while upstairs. It's interesting to see how even modern folks can get sucked into that whole class thing, if given the chance.

God...when this happens, it's so embarassing.

"Should we not begin to redefine patriotism?" - Howard Zinn

BJ has been talkin' trash about my "stupid faggot truck". Man, I hated living above that guy. In the mornings sometimes I'd go out to get the mail and see his nasty pasty belly sticking out of some "No Jesus No Peace Know Jesus Know Peace" shirt. Goddamn it got annoying. And he'd always ask me what a pretty girl like me was doing living in a place like that. I usually told him to screw off and went up and turned on Mirwais really loudly. Small comforts, I tell ya.

Happy May Day, Comrades.

Once you go Red, you'll never go back.

My marriage ceremony was not "Wedding Story" material. I mean, it was like 3 minutes total, I was wearing black (my god - that was an omen...), and it was witnessed by a topless homeless guy. We actually woke him up (he was sleeping on a park bench) while reciting our vows. It was pretty typical of Jason and me, I think. No nonsense, completely non romantic (ie - practical and to the point), and it was over before the bride and groom got bored. My parents hated it. That was kind of the point.

Anyway, at least our wedding wasn't this kind of oddness. Although a corpse would have been a bonus in my department because my mom probably would have fainted.

P.S. - The institution of marriage is such a sham. Don't do it. If you love someone, give your life to them, but don't legally bind yourself to them. It just makes you feel like you've bought into that whole "Stepford Wives" thing.

Jason just posted a marvalously accurate recount of a meal we shared at Master Wok yesterday. The only thing I can add is that I was seated facing these fine young men, and I can tell you, these are the kind of guys that have to beg for sex. Or pay for it. Or pay then beg (and not in a kinky way either).

Average straight white men inspire me in so many ways - lesbianism, femi-naziism, etc. How the human race has continued this long is far beyond my scope of understanding.

Okay, who wants to organize the caravan? (Dylan AND Petty - does life get any better than that?)

BONNAROO NE 2003 INITIAL ARTIST ANNOUNCEMENT

Superfly Productions and A.C. Entertainment are proud to
announce the initial lineup for Bonnaroo NE 2003. The
festival is confirmed to take place August 8-10, 2003 at
Enterprise Park at Calverton in Riverhead, New York.

We are anticipating several major additions to the line up to be
announced shortly, so be sure to visit www.bonnaroo.com
and join the Bonnaroo mailing list to stay up to date on new
additions to the schedule.

Tickets for the 2003 Bonnaroo Music Festival will go on sale
Wednesday, May 7th at 9:00 a.m. EST through
www.bonnaroo.com. Please visit the website for complete
ticketing information.

2003 Bonnaroo NE Confirmed Artists:

The Dead (2 Nights)
Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds
Bob Dylan
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
The String Cheese Incident
Ween
Gov't Mule
Medeski Martin & Wood
moe.
Les Claypool's Frog Brigade
Yo La Tengo
Talib Kweli
Rusted Root
Soulive
North Mississippi Allstars
Yonder Mountain String Band
Disco Biscuits
Cut Chemist
Grandaddy
X-ecutioners
Kings of Leon
Los Amigos Invisibles

IF YOU WEREN'T PART OF THE MARYVILLE LIBERAL ARTS COMMIE POSSE (2000-2003), THIS POST WILL NOT INTEREST YOU.

One of the best things about living in the Santa Fe Shanty, besides the rampant irresponsible drug use and excellent collective CD stash, was the quote wall. Seeing as how there were so many people there all the time in various stages of non-sobriety, some very memorable things were said now and again, and of course, Brian and I would knock each other over to write them down and then post them on the wall, because in five minutes no one would remember what was said. Some good examples of this would be:

"Animals are deathly afraid of the Taboo Buzzer." - Brian

"Oh honey, let me tell you about double fisting." - Brian, followed by applause and a knowing smile from Maggie

"I make Howard Hughs look like Dr. Phil!" - Maggie

"I feel like someone just took a huge dump on my face." - Jason in reference to watching an Avril Whatshername video

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. Well, we've all been there. Except for Jason of course." - Maggie, in reference to gagging while performing oral sex on a man

"Steven lets me use his ManStick whenever I want." - Amy

"Yeah well, I would have thought God would have made a better person than this." - Steven

"Everytime I smoke up, I just picture Jesus' face in front of me, and I blow the smoke right in his face, and He inhales and just smiles." - Jed
"That's beautiful." - Jason

And of course, the quote of the day for the entire time I lived there..."Now Margaret, there's no such thing as unnecessary head."

Yeah, good times. So this morning, Jason and I were having chocolate cake for breakfast and watching some damn infomercial for a guitar you could get through the mail for $200. Must be a great instrument. Anyway, some guy was waxing poetic about how learning to play guitar changed his life...as a teen he had something that he could do by himself with his own hands. I say to the screen:

"Oh honey, let me tell you what you can do for yourself, by yourself, with your hands..."

And Jason follows with:

"Sewing?"

It just reminded me of the old days with the crew. It's good to move forward, but those were some great times. I miss you guys!

Have you ever considered how similar Hunter S. Thompson and His Holiness The Dalai Lama appear? Is it possible they're the same person? I mean, I've never seen them together or anything.

This certainly requires careful meditation, possibly with the added assistance of some mescaline.

This is the the shoe I want. Can I find it anywhere in the metro KC area? No. Well, no, wait, I did find a pair strikingly similar to this at Halls, but I'll be goddamned if I'm paying $145 for a pair of shoes I'll wear one season.

I hate to sound really prissy, but sometimes it's such a trial being a woman.

Just because people look back fondly on bands today doesn't mean they were ever good. Take for instance The Cramps and The Buzzcocks, both having new releases out lately. Now as an angsty teen, I listened to both of these bands like I was addicted to morphine. Stumbling across one of those cd's now, though, is a laughable experience...kind of like seeing pictures from high school when I was wearing all mismatched blacks. I've moved on from that stage (have I?), but the bands haven't. Most of them have cleaned up, and are now rehashing old material for the post Gen X nostalgia crowd. Like when Bauhaus toured several years ago...no one wants to see Peter Murphy trying to get in and out of a coffin now that he has arthritis. I can't wait until we're all in nursing homes...maybe The Mighty Mighty Bosstones will do an elder care facility tour...with their wheelchair cushions being plaid, of course.