Quite possibly the most unnecessary article ever written...

"Firms with Bush ties snag Katrina deals"

Oh, what a surprise...

"Sitting with her daughter and other relatives, Trolkyn Joseph, 37, said men had wandered the cavernous convention center in recent nights raping and murdering children. She said she found a dead 14-year old girl at 5 a.m. on Friday morning, four hours after the young girl went missing from her parents inside the convention center. 'She was raped for four hours until she was dead,' Joseph said through tears. 'Another child, a seven-year old boy was found raped and murdered in the kitchen freezer last night.'"

And to make everyone feel a little better, how about a blast from our web past?

'An old man in a chaise lounge lay dead in a grassy median as hungry babies wailed around him. Around the corner, an elderly woman lay dead in her wheelchair, covered up by a blanket, and another body lay beside her wrapped in a sheet.

"I don't treat my dog like that," 47-year-old Daniel Edwards said as he pointed at the woman in the wheelchair.

"You can do everything for other countries, but you can't do nothing for your own people," he added. "You can go overseas with the military, but you can't get them down here."'

"God Punishing GIs Over Gays"

I don't even know what to say about this...probably just the typical "Fred Phelps will burn in hell for eternity" type of stuff so many of us Kansas City types have gotten so used to saying.

"For other fans, like Dorian Baxter, founder of Christ the King, Graceland Independent Anglican Church in Ontario, Canada, this is more of a pilgrimage.

"Elvis has been a great instrument to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ," said Baxter, a reverend who often performs in Elvis garb as "Elvis Priestly."

"And coming to Memphis in August," continued Baxter, dressed in a white linen suit and black silk shirt, "is just my way of paying respect to the man whose music has helped me bring people to the Lord."

If only you could see the look of contempt on my face right now...

Jason Sheets and I had the most long, drawn out ending to our marriage. It went on for years, despite new relationships, forced joint employment to keep us both out of poverty and vague excuses to family members. I finally cut the cord in February, even thought the initial separation had happened years earlier. The trip from Kansas to California was one of the most painful things I had ever done, because I knew at that point that part of my life was pretty much over. I listened to a lot of Death Cab on that trip, especially "Title and Registration". And what do you know? Death Cab has made a video for that song that is remarkably similar to what I experienced on that trip (excluding the near death experience on a mountain in New Mexico). Anyway, check it out...

Ok, so I'm the biggest slacker in the world with this blog. I used to post everyday back when I was youthful and full of ideals and such. Anyway, here are some updates:

*I saw Tom Waits at Safeway. Shopping. While his wife waited in their "I have a small dick so I overcompensate with my auto" SUV.

*I, along with Lisa Ann(e) Carbone, plan to take over the world. Quite soon. We've been having all kinds of meetings at work about it, and no one seems the least bit suspicious. Shout out to the BI folks and all that jazz.

*Bolton's in the U.N., y'all. Ha.

*I scored a previously undiscovered version of "Macarthur Park" at Amoeba last weekend. I found it in the discount 7" bin. It's recorded by a band called The Surprise Package, and it's all organ-y and such. Oh, you thought the Richard Harris version was bad. You ain't heard nothing yet... Now if only Gary Puckett has covered "Ruby Don't Take Your Love To Town"! That would be quite exciting.

*"Lost" is one hell of a show. I would recommend it.

*There's an autographed poster of Ween on the right of our computer desk. On the back wall facing me, there's an "Eraserhead" poster. On the left is a Nirvana poster. I think it's all a great plot by Jason to make me feel so uncomfortable back here I won't stay up all night playing online bingo.

Song of the day: "I Believe" - Stevie Wonder

Have fun, stay single.

Listen here, oh despairing single friends: Being in a serious relationship is overrated. Ninety percent of the time it's not even enjoyable. It's nothing but uneven compromise and injured emotions. It's a lot of hard work for very little, if any, reward...and it's not like you can transfer those reward points to your next account, if you catch my drift. Just listen to any Death Cab album.

"I became what I always hated/
when I was with you then..."

"There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade/
and now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all/
and here I rest where disappointment and regret collide/
lying awake at night..."

"All I see are dark grey clouds/
in the distance moving closer with every hour/
so when you ask "was something wrong?"/
I think "you're damn right there is/
but we can't talk about it now."

And if anyone would know, it would be Ben Gibbard...let's all join in for a rousing chorus of "The Sound of Settling".

Pack the sunblock...we should head up to Indie Rock Summer Camp y'all..

(courtesy of this Charming Man)

Song of the day: "Cruel Summer" - Bananarama

In heavy rotation...

* Spoon - Gimmie
* Beck - Guero
* David Bowie - anything
* Coheed and Cambria - anything
* Death Cab - Transatlanticism (quite possibly a perfect album)
* Buddy Holly - anything

Not in heavy rotation...

* The newish Mooney Suzuki
* The newish Tori Amos (sorry to say)
* The new Coldplay (it's been done, dude)
* The new John Vanderslice single (it may be a bad upcoming year for music, kids)

Blogs are so 2003.

"Reality Show Will Find New INXS Singer"

Kinda rude, isn't it?

And if the previous link baffled you, then Rosie O'Donnell's Blog should just plain piss you off. How did she get so far in life being so extremely challenged? From the looks of this blog, I doubt she could sign any contracts without a "special helper".

There are a lot of things in this world that make me really uncomfortable. Having someone carry on a conversation with you as they address you by a name not your own. Realizing you've been walking around for god knows how long with toilet paper stuck to your shoe. Standing behind someone in line at a restaurant trying to order from a menu not in their native language. Watching men cry. Especially big strong testosteroney men cry. And reading an interview where the "journalist" tries to convert Joey Ramone to Christianity. I think I've seen it all now.

Nothing rules more than a backwards countdown to a chorus that includes the line "...and kick my shit so hiiiiiiiiigh...". It's the kind of thing that is best sung while driving around town and night with a cig in one hand and the other playing air guitar (the picking kind). Who can offer this to you? Why Sunset Valley, of course!

Song of the day: "G.B.78.S." - Sunset Valley.

Abstinence Only is simply the most direct and practical faith-fucking site I've seen in years. I should really forward it to my little sisters in that all important "sisterly advice" kinda way.

Song of the day: "Orignial Sinsuality" - Tori Amos

I found this article while meandering around tonight. It's H.S. Thompson's September 12, 2001, article for ESPN.com. It's an interesting sliver of perspective.